Prayer and Peace: At our best in the Workplace
How can you be at your best day-in and day-out at the office? How can you be attentive to the presence of God and fully present for others and still navigate the challenges you face each day? To do so requires, to a large degree, that you be a person of peace, or as author Edwin Friedman (in Generation to Generation) describes: a non-anxious presence.
What does a non-anxious person look like? A non-anxious person is someone who is calm and at peace with themselves and others within the context of a system (i.e., your workplace) and remains calm when that system is placed under stress. A non-anxious presence is the leader who refuses to panic when there is a sudden change in revenues. It’s the leader who refuses to mirror the stress introduced by disgruntled direct reports caught up in a conflict. It is the calm voice that inquires about other ways to think about the urgent problem discussed at the team meeting - refusing to add “fuel to the fire” of perceived dire circumstances.
A non-anxious presence in these moments practices patience. A friend of mine recently called this kind of behavior “tactical patience.” Maybe you’ve seen this: In some systems, anxious people demand leaders take quick action to address the problem they feel needs attention. They want the leader to act, and to act now! The late Charles Siburt remarked about these moments, “Often leaders become the host cell for the virus; they become so anxious that they enable the problem.” In other words, an anxious, reactive leader allows themselves to get “caught up” in the stress and urgency of the moment. The non-anxious leader is not reactionary and refuses to take on the “virus,” or the stress and fear inducing demeanor brought into the system. It takes real courage and keen sense of perspective to resist becoming a “host” to the drama.
When the leader refuses to react and remains calm and at peace, the anxious person can see that as a sign of inaction or lack of caring. Both of these assumptions are false. The anxious person is often blind to their anxiety and can make the critical mistake of misjudging their manager’s intentions. They miss the humble and reflective posture of the leader on display because they are so caught up in their on anxiety-fueled disposition.
It’s important to say that I’m not advocating inaction. Avoidance behavior can be just as damaging as quick, anxiety-based reactions. Furthermore, there can arise instances where undifferentiated leaders can be so consumed by the ongoing drama that they lose perspective and frustrate the system. Again from Charles Siburt:
“Leaders in all systems spend most of their time focusing on the most immature, most unmotivated, and most emotionally dependent members of the system. Trying to accommodate, placate them, or change them. Instead what they should do is to spend the majority of their time on the most mature, the most motivated, and most emotionally independent or differentiated in the system even if they are in the minority. Support and empower the healthy leaders because the more you focus on the others you, a) prolong their immaturity, etc. and b) you frustrate and lose the the trust and respect of the most mature and motivated in the system.”
To be a non-anxious presence requires emotional awareness and courage. This isn’t easy, but it is essential. Often the best and most effective behavior for leaders is to simply remain calm and emotionally grounded when everyone around you isn’t. Your demeanor (the calm expression on your face, a warm sense of courageous empathy, etc.) in these moments can be more influential than your words.
Back to our original question above. How do we train ourselves to remain calm and grounded when these moments happen? To me this is a spiritual question. Your first priority as a Christian leader is to honor God. In your workplace, to honor God and remain non-anxious is first supported by your faith in God. Knowing that all things are under God’s provision and trusting in His providential care are foundational principles that support a non-anxious presence. I think all Christians would agree that these two principles are important. What makes them useful for us in this discussion is their reinforcement through prayer.
There exists a direct correlation between the frequency and intensity of our personal prayer and our sense of inner peace. In the absence of prayer, we lack the grounding that resides in a Christian whose life is oriented by regular prayer. When prayer is a regular practice, the presence and providence of God is witnessed more fully. As Ignatius of Loyola says, we learn to “see God in all things.” This awareness of God, or watchfulness, nurtures our spirits to see the world, other people, and other situations from a spiritual perspective. When we hold this view, an anxious person running into your office with a “world-altering problem” isnt world-altering to you.
"Be at peace with your own soul, then heaven and earth will be at peace with you." - Isaac the Syrian
May your life, and your responses to others, be a witness to the peace of God in your workplace.
